“You don’t mean to say, Estelle, that you are tired of settlement work?”
“But, Auntie, dear, poor people are so monotonous.”
He: Who is that tramping around overhead?
She: Oh, that’s only papa. He always gets restless towards morning.
“Why aren’t you ready, Isabel? You know very well the opera begins at eight-fifteen.”
“Oh! Gracious! I forgot all about it. I’ve been so busy writing this article on preparedness.”
Mrs. Jones officially notified of her election as sheriff.
“It’s only fair to warn you that my son has never had a father’s care and doesn’t know the first thing about housekeeping.”
Trying to be appreciative while the author of the verses looks over your shoulder.
He: We have had a terrible scrap.
“And I came out ahead.”
“No. I did. You accepted my apology.”
The first stormy night in the cottage you have rented for the summer.
Something wrong somewhere—time 8.55 and still waiting for dinner to be announced.
A susceptible young man trying to make up his mind which way to turn.
Strong-minded Lady (on meeting the bride and groom): I trust you will be as happy as we have been.
The one night a week that he dines at home.
The Rev. —— reads his latest comedy to his niece.
Which shall be her sphere?
Dad is introduced to the man of her choice—“the nicest, sweetest thing in all the world."
When your mother shows your best girl the door.
When your rich aunt arrives unexpectedly and finds you haven’t hung the portrait she sent you at Christmas.
His fiancée sees Captain von Hoffenfeffer in civilian clothes for the first time.
“Three hundred dollars for that gown! Didn’t you get anything off?”
“All I dared.”
Fond Grandparent: I was exactly like him at his age.
The Reason dinner was late
He: That sofa must have been made for two.
She: It’s hardly short enough for that.
“That’s a fine dog you have there. What breed is it?”
“Sh! Not so loud! He thinks he’s a bulldog.”
Just before it’s too late.
Waiting for the flashlight.
Making it a jack pot.
Reading the play.
Skimpy Mistress (scenting unaccustomed delights): Sarah, what is that I smell?
Undernourished Maid of all Work: I think it must come in from next door.
He: You never compliment me any more on my appearance.
She: Oh, charming! Charming! Charming!
He: It’s perfectly awful the way you continue to flirt with your old sweethearts. I don’t believe you love me any more. And yet, before we were married, you told me I was a man of a thousand.
She: So you were, my dear, so you were. But I can’t entirely forget the other nine hundred and ninety-nine.
“I had a poet on one side and a millionaire on the other.”
“What did you talk about?”
“I talked to the poet about money and to the millionaire about the intellectual life.”
Mantel ornaments for domestic cheer.
“I don’t think married life is ever happy, anyway.”
“Then, why don’t you divorce your husband?”
“I’d rather quarrel with him than with strangers.”
Editor: Have you ever written any editorials?
College Graduate: No, sir; but I think I might train my mind down to it.
Frederick enjoys the flower show in our village
Famous Actor: Oh, yes, I’m married, but I always think it’s kind o’ tough on a girl that marries one of us travelin’ men.
“Still, it might be worse. I suppose you’re away from home most of the time.”
“Between me an’ you, Uncle Jasper, don’t you get awful tired of doin’ what you’re told? Don’t be scared to answer. I won’t give you away to Aunt Jane.”
Husband: Do you think you will be able to keep within your allowance this month?
“I’m afraid so.”
Mr. Wooden always wanted a tall, serious wife, while his friend Chubb intended to marry a cheery little woman.
“Can you come to the jeweler’s with me to-morrow, dearest? I’d like you to choose the ring yourself.”
“In that case perhaps you’d better save up a little longer, darling.”
“Where did you get those flowers, little girl? Off a tree?”
“Off a bush?”
“Off a lady.”
“Arthur says when he is at your house he acts just like one of the family.”
“Yes, he seems to be just as much afraid of my wife as I am.”
Put together scientifically and from sections of wood specially tested, a remarkable strength may be obtained by such a method of building. The figure shows how a girder aircraft body, supported by trestles only at its ends, may support from its centre, without yielding, a tray containing a number of heavy weights
The driver of a modern-type aeroplane, sitting snugly within its hull, has a wheel and instrument-board before him, as sketched. As he flies across country he has many things to think of. Holding the control-wheel in both hands, his feet resting upon the rudder-bar, his eyes rove constantly among the instruments [Pg 163]on the dashboard before him. He glances at the compass often, for it is by this that he steers; and when the air is clear, and the earth below plainly seen, he will every now and then glance over the side of the hull, so as to be on the look-out for a landmark that may tell him he is on his course.
A. Pilot’s seat
B. Hand-wheel (pushed forward or backward operates elevator; twisted sideways works ailerons)
C. Foot-bar actuating rudder
E. Dial showing number of revolutions per minute that engine is making
F. Gauge showing pressure in petrol tank
G. Speed indicator
H. Dial showing altitude
J. Switch for cutting off ignition.
The genesis of the “large-wheeled tractor” was as follows: Trenches with a parados and parapet about 4 ft. high were being constructed by the enemy in Flanders.
The engineers consulted by the Land Ship Committee gave it as their considered opinion that if these obstacles were to be crossed, a wheel of not less than 15 ft. diameter would be necessary.
Machines with these gigantic wheels were actually ordered, but the wooden model that was knocked together as a preliminary at once convinced even its best friends that the design was fantastic, and that any machine of the kind would be little better than useless on account of its conspicuousness and vulnerability.
However, the “big wheel” idea did not utterly die, for in the upturned snout of the Mark I. Tank we have, as it were, its “toe” preserved, the track turning sharply back at about axle level, instead of mounting uselessly skyward, as would have been the case had not the old wheel idea been supplanted by that of the sliding track.
This picture illustrates an incident which has frequently occurred in the patrol flotillas when destroyers have been hunting down submarines and the latter have retaliated by firing torpedoes. Clever manœuvring in combination with good gunnery is the war-ship's best protection against attack by submarine.
The very next day—Christmas Day—the Naval Air Wing, working in conjunction with its own branch of the service, carried out an extremely well-organized attack upon Cuxhaven, the strongly-fortified port at the mouth of the Elbe which protects the approaches to Hamburg.
An Old-fashioned Train of Cars
A "No. 2 flying boat," just built by Mr. Curtiss, and successfully tested on Lake Keuka, Hammondsport, in July, 1912, is the "last word" in aviation so far. An illustration in this book, made from photographs taken in mid-July, 1912, shows fully the bullet-shape of the "flying fish."
It is a real boat, built with a fish-shaped body containing two comfortable seats for the pilot and passenger or observer, either of whom can operate the machine by a system of dual control, making it also available for teaching the art of flying.
All the controls are fastened to the rear of the boat's hull, which makes them very rigid and strong, while the boat itself, made in stream-line form, offers the least possible resistance to the air, even less than that offered by the landing gear upon a standard land machine. Above the boat are mounted the wings and aeroplane surface. In the centre of this standard biplane construction is situated the eighty horse-power motor with its propeller in the rear, thus returning to the original practice, as in the standard Curtiss machines, of having a single propeller attached direct to the motor, thus doing away with all chains and transmission gearing which might give trouble, and differing from the earlier model flying boat built in San Diego, California, last winter (1911-12), which was equipped with "tractor" propellors propellers in front driven by chains.
The new flying boat is twenty-six feet long and three feet wide. The planes are five and a half feet deep and thirty feet wide. It runs on the water at a speed of fifty miles an hour, and is driven by an eighty horse-power Curtiss motor. At a greater speed than this it cannot be kept on the water, but rises in the air and flies at from fifty to sixty miles per hour.
Following the success of the "White Wing" we started in to build another machine, embodying all that we had learned from our experience with the two previous ones. Following our custom of giving each machine a name to distinguish it from the preceding one, we called this third aeroplane the "June Bug." The name was aptly chosen, for it was a success from the very beginning. Indeed, it flew so well that we soon decided it was good enough to win the trophy which had been offered by The Scientific American for the first public flight of one kilometer, or five-eights of a mile, straightaway. This trophy, by the way, was the first to be offered in this country for an aeroplane flight, and the conditions specified that it should become the property of the person winning it three years in succession. The "June Bug" was given a thorough try-out before we made arrangements to fly for the trophy, and we were confident it would fulfill the requirements.
1. Cylinder; 2. Engine Bed; 3. Fuel Tank: 4. Oil Pan; 5. Radiator; 6. Propeller; 7. Crank Case; 8. Carbureter; 9. Gasoline Pipe; 10. Air Intake; 11. Auxiliary Air-pipe; 12. Drain Cock; 13. Water Cooling System; 14. Gas Intake Pipe; 15. Rocker Arm; 16. Spring on Intake Valve; 17. Spring on Exhaust Valve; 18. Exhaust Port; 19. Rocker Arm Post; 20. Push Rod.